“I was angry as a teenager, and as an adult I have been unhappy and depressed much of my life. I have been through eight years of therapy, but it wasn’t until after contemplating my PSA results that I finally figured out what I was angry and unhappy about.”
These words were not uttered by someone who was struggling to make a living or who was a marginal member of society. He is a successful business owner who grew up in a loving home in an upper middle class neighborhood in the late 60s and early 70s. He is happily married, has successfully raised three children, and appears happy and content with life. So his declaration came as a surprise to me. Once I heard what he had to say, I realized his story was far from unusual and needed to be retold in a public forum. I asked his permission and he agreed. Here’s his story:
At first, he said, the results of his PSA results of Activity surprised and concerned him. Everything he read about Activity exactly described behavior that he had been taught to suppress and control. Reading the Activity PS description made him worry that he had been unsuccessful in learning how to hold those ‘bad’ behaviors in check. His great revelation: the reason he had been unsuccessful in ridding himself of those behaviors was because, at core, they were who he was. His great joy was that PST and Celebrate You were telling him that it was OK to be himself.
His anger as a teen arose from having his natural skills thwarted, undervalued, and/or ignored. His unhappiness and depression as an adult was due to his inability to stop suppressing his natural buoyancy and high energy level. He realized that he had kept who he really was deeply hidden from the world, and to a great extent, even from himself.
From a psychological perspective, his insight made perfect sense. In essence, the message he had received from his parents was, “Don’t be you.” As humans, we are able to adapt our behavior to whatever is required of us, but the core of who one is, as expressed by their PS, cannot be changed. The inevitable conclusion most humans will come to when faced with such a dilemma is that there is something wrong with them, and that who they are is not OK. More simply stated, “I am not loveable”. The anger that an adolescent experiences from having his core being denied transforms into sadness and depression as he resigns himself to being a “responsible adult”.
My client’s PSA results and Celebrate You gave him the permission he needed to celebrate who he really is.
His story made me wonder how many of us received similar messages in the service of molding us into “successful” adults. How many of the 65+% of people who hate their jobs feel that way because their work allows them no expression of their natural skill set? How many people live their lives vaguely dissatisfied or unhappy for no apparent reason simply because their core being has been repressed? The answer to all three questions, I believe, is a much higher percentage than we know or suspect. Don’t be part of that percentage. Discover how to Celebrate You!
To find out more about the services we have available to help you find the success you want and deserve go to www.YourTalentAdvantage.com.